Essay Revision

Oprah Winfrey the Great  
Final Draft  
Oprah Winfrey is a great asset to humanity. She is not only a fruitful business woman, but also a humanitarian. Oprah Winfrey is an actress, talk show host, philosopher, who has been in famous long across the United States and the world. The world knows her for revolutionizing television. She did not only transform daytime talk shows from gossipy to intimate, she also broke down the traditional barriers of journalism and transformed the book publishing industry. She prepared a mass audience to celebrate differences among people, regardless of color, disabilities or sexual orientation. She is the kind of celebrity who uses her power in media to change public’s opinion, and who is described as the most powerful and influential women worldwide.  
Oprah grew up in a home where her mother did not support her interest in academics. She also struggled with a strange dichotomy: academic achievement and dysfunctional home  
life where she also endured physical abuse by relatives. Oprah gives birth to a baby boy at 14. Her son was born prematurely and died an infant. She eventually moved with her strict father.  Winfrey became an excellent student. She participated in the drama club, debate club, and   student council while in grade school. Upon graduating from grade school, Winfrey participated In an Elks Club speaking contest where she won a full scholarship to fund her college education at Tennessee State University.  
While in college Winfrey was crowned Miss Fire Prevention by WVOL, a local Nashville radio station, and was hired by the station to read afternoon newscasts as a freshman in college. At only 19 years old, a sophomore in college, Winfrey was offered a position at CBS by a CBS affiliate. Winfrey turned the job down several times but after careful consideration and receiving advice from one of her mentors which was also her speech teacher. She finally accepted the position. “The show was seen every evening on WTVF-TV, and Winfrey was Nashville’s first African American female co-anchor of the evening news (in text citation)”. 
After Winfrey graduated from college, she went on to work for WJZ-TV in Baltimore Maryland where she did the local news updates, called cut-ins for Good Morning America. In January of 1984, Winfrey took over as anchor on A.M. Chicago, a morning talk show that was consistently last in the ratings chart. As a talk show with one-star rating, Winfrey is able to turn it around by changing the emphasis of the show from traditional women’s issues to current and controversial topics and in  just one month the show was at even ratings with Donahue’s program and within three months she was ahead. Eventually, AM Chicago morning talk show was renamed the Oprah Winfrey Show in September 1985 and was extended to an hour.  
The popularity of Winfrey’s show skyrocketed after the success of the movie she played in “The Color Purple.” She received a special award from the Chicago Academy of the Arts for unique contributions to the city’s artistic community and was named Woman of Achievement by the National Organization of Women. Her Show The Oprah Winfrey show won several awards for Best Talk Show where she was also honored as Best Talk Show Host.  
Winfrey formed her own production company, Harpo, Inc., in August 1986 to produce the topics that she wanted to see produced, including the television drama miniseries with Gloria Naylor’s The Women of Brewster Place, in which Winfrey was featured along with Cicely Tyson, Robin Givens, Olivia Cole, Jackee, Paula Kelly, and Lynn Whitfield.  
Oprah became the first African American woman to reach billionaire status and she has broken through cultural, geographical and gender barriers, letting the world know “it’s not your circumstances, but your heart that determines how far you go in this world.” She has inspired me abundant with her openness and compassion and vision of a better world. Oprah has contributed millions of dollars towards bettering education for under-served students. Oprah has donated more than $50 million to charity, including 50 local organizations  
such as the AIDS Foundation of Chicago, Children’s Memorial Hospital and the Chicago Academy of the Arts. She is an activist who has led many campaigns to help children and women from different walks of life.  
Works Cited:  
“How Does Oprah Winfrey Influence the Society?”  
HASTAC, www.hastac.org/blogs/yuxin-dai/2015/11/20/how-does-oprah-winfrey- 
influence-society.  
NBCNews.com, NBCUniversal News Group, 26 May 2011,  
www.nbcnews.com/id/43175402/ns/technology_and_science-science/t/how-oprah- 
winfrey-changed-america/.  
“Oprah Winfrey.” The MY HERO Project,  
myhero.com/oprahhero.  Sohn, Emily. “How Oprah Winfrey Changed America.”  
Suver, Stacey. “Oprah Winfrey.” Inside Philanthropy,  
Inside Philanthropy, 7 Mar. 2019, www.insidephilanthropy.com/glitzy-giving/oprah- 
winfrey.html.  
Tennant, Thomas. “Biography of Oprah Winfrey,  
Media Mogul.” LiveAbout, LiveAbout, 24 May 2019, www.liveabout.com/who-is-oprah-winfrey-a-brief-biography-3177096.  

Professor Comments: 

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However, here is my feedback on what you submitted. First, the originality score for your essay is very high–69%.  There are many places where you have used outside sources and have not given credit.  Whether intentional or not this practice is plagiarism.  You need to go back and add in-text citations for those paraphrases that are someone else’s ideas. I have enabled your being able to see where there are problems, so you can tell.
Secondly, where is your research question? Thesis? The essay does not confirm to the general requirements for the essay–not organized by source, does not have the tone of exploration i.e. your reflections about the information you have discovered etc. Did you read the example of the student essay  in Module 2 Supplement?

Original Prompt:

This purpose of this assignment is to assess your ability to construct a 
research essay using outside sources to develop a clear, coherent explanation of
the path the subject you have chosen (famous person) has taken to achieve 
fame and contribute to his/her field or the world at large, using the correct MLA
documentation practices and format. 
Research Essay # 1: Prompt:
“Choose someone famous [inventor, innovator, athlete, music artiste, artist, scientist, 
philanthropist, teacher, researcher, genius, farmer,  head-of- state, etc] and research the path 
he/she took to achieve fame and the contributions this person made to his/her field or the 
world at large. 
What did this person actually do to achieve fame? What were the critical 
moments in the development of his or her career? What is or was the value of fame to this 
person and to those around him or her (Green and Lawlor 573).”
 At the beginning of your 
essay [Introduction] weave into your introduction why you are interested in/chose this person 
and ask a question that may have baffled you about him/her. Then write an organized narrative
account as you investigate your subject’s life through research and showing your own reflective
thinking. Your goal is to research and 
find information that answers the questions listed above
in this prompt,
to produce a clear coherent exploration of your subject’s fame and 
contributions and give credit to the relevant sources you have used through proper MLA 
documentation. 

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